Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Brian the Barbarian Horde's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, February 12th, 2009
6:50 am	The Lion Stirs Mm.. it seems like it's been an appropriately long time since my last entry. I will now cryptically sum up the time that's transpired from thence to now! I'm Awesome. Lorenzo was so much fun. Work sucks. Chocolate kisses make me happy. The giver of chocolate kisses also makes me happy :) And M4M will also be awesome too, now that I've finally been cast. Muwahahahaha! This is all. Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: the conveyor belt whines on..... (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 11th, 2008
8:36 pm	Where did I put my Zen rock? I used to sit on it all the time. Perched atop the rock I could quietly observe the world around me with a cool detachment and be generally emotionally indifferent to the happenings around me, instead simply observing and filing and analyzing with logical deduction. Very recently in my life, starting about five months ago, all of this seemed to change. The wall of zen I had built around my life came crashing down and all of a sudden I wasn't just seeing the world around me but I was feeling it, too. And all rather intensely. And where once I could coldly look at a friend's troubles before and break them down to them and offer advice in a way that made reasonable sense, now I find my heart aching with their pain, my stomach knotted with their guilt, my head pounding with their headaches. I wonder at the change on nights like this when I sit alone, a pass time not at all uncommon to me in the past, and find myself strangely yearning for that human contact, that human experience beyond myself. I am not used to wanting the company of others. I am not sure what precipitated this change, why all of a sudden my empathy went from off to off the scale, but I don't think it is something that is going away any time soon. I suppose my choices are either to try and find the rock again, or perhaps just make better plans to hang out with people on the weekends, because being alone with myself lately is like screaming into an amplified microphone held in front of the speaker output and riding out the cascading emotional feedback. Current Mood: confused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 10th, 2008
11:31 am	To audition or not to audition, That is the question So looming before me is spanish tragedy. And I really can't make up my mind whether I want to dive headlong into the next play. On the one hand acting = fun. On the other hand do I want to have any free time to myself for the next few months? And more importantly do I want to prepare a monologue? Oh decisions decisions. Current Mood: contemplative (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
1:36 pm	The Lion Stirs It seems like forever and a day since last I looked upon this web site. I've been living a life without the internet for so long it almost feels foreign to me to be here again. But the Zen Lion wakes groggily. I wish to apologize to those of you who actually espoused interest in my musings for the absence. A lot has been going on with me:) I am finding myself recently the object of a lot of attention, both male and female, which is something that I am not at all used to being. Apparently, according to a fellow who I had always thought of as rather heterosexual, I have become a beautiful man. I guess all that exercise I get every day running packages around for FedEx is good for something. It certainly takes some getting used to. The greatest challenge that I foresee in my near future, now that my fat boy self image has finally been completely shattered, is not to let it go to my head. There is a one special someone out there for me somewhere and I don't want to ruin the opportunity to meet her by making an ass out of myself :) As most of you know I just got done with Julius Caesar with the Rudes as Brutus. I heard good things about it from those who came to see it. Apparently I made somebody cry. I must be doing something right :) And it's enough to make me seriously consider some auditions on the next level. We shall see what the future portends. I am winning the fight against diabetes with diet and exercise. Medication free for six months my latest blood tests came back almost completely normal. For all those wondering how such a thing is possible it's called exercise every day, eat better, and don't fucking drink soda and eat candy. That stuff will kill you. Seriously, sugar kills. And too many people take it for granted. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'll still have a chocolate chip cookie every now and then. Everything in moderation, including moderation. I still lie awake at night and contemplate my place in the world, and the state of the world at large. I see how things seem to be pushed ever closer to the breaking point every day with te environment, the economy, society, and I wonder whether one man can truly make a difference. What has changed from then to now, is that I am starting to believe that I can. One person Can make a difference. You just have to let go of your fear and leap. Apart from that, I'll just say that it's good to be back. I've missed you folks, and I'm sure those of you who actually read this will see me around :) (32 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
10:39 pm	Here I sit, three months later. To those of you who wondered, I am still alive. To those of you who didn't, I am still alive anyway. I find myself going through a difficult time lately, and I write this primarily for my own benefit to sort out the jumbled thoughts in my head. I am prone to bouts of depression that had managed to paralyze me quite effectively for a year or two of my teenage years, which I find myself staring into with more cognizant awareness as I feel it's apathetic tendrils closing in about me to suffocate the progress I have made in recent months. The difficulty of course with depression, even when you see it coming, is finding a way to care enough to do anything to stop it. It has not been helped in the least by the onset of dreams in recent weeks that take on a life so vivid that I find it difficult to distinguish them from the waking world. It can either make for very confusing days or make me feel particularly exhausted for having felt like living two days for every one that passes. My dietary habits have not been as stringent as they should be either, given my medical condition. I have to get back on top of that. Also on the matter of health, I smoked a cigarette today for the first time in a long while. And while I smoked it for a stupid reason, I sadly found the act to be somehow comforting, like coming home to an old friend after a long journey. More to the point, I quit for the wrong reason and now I need to find myself a greater resolve in order to want to quit for myself rather than just for someone else. And then there are the money problems. after tomorrow morning I will have $4.28 in my checking account to last me until I get paid again on friday. I know that this situation will improve itself. Once I've finished paying my way out of debt I'll actually feel like I have more money than I know what to do with, but right now that's where it all goes. At least the life I live when I dream is happy. Though that doesn't motivate me to want to do much more than sleep in my current state, perhaps I can draw a waking strength from it as well. I just need to tell myself, it will get better. Correction: I need to do something about making things better. Actively every day, stop telling myself and just do it. I've done enough thinking about things for 10 lifetimes. Action speaks louder than words. Current Mood: depressed (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 11th, 2007
10:05 am	Funny cause it's true. The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted. As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (87%), romantic (71%), horny (67%), religious (60%). Stereotypes Old Geezer 83% Punk Rock 80% Hippie 78%   Life Experience Sex 40% Substances 22% Travel 47% Politics Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 83% of the time.   Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 42% less than the U.S. average. If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 71%, hotter than 96% of other test takers. TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite I'm still laughing about the old geezer punk rock hippie stereotype, but it's so true! Whooo! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
1:13 pm	Job makes me happy :) Ordered new uniform from Fedex today because the one that I got in november doesn't fit me anymore. As in, to quote whimmydiddle, I look smokin' :) That's a good feeling. Everybody down at the FedEx station is calling me White Chocolate, too. That's amusing :) I'm the only white boy with soul that they have. My benefits have officially kicked in. Got my health insurance card and everything. *sniff* I haven't had health insurance in so long. I almost want to go do something stupid just to try it out. Teehee! Okay, enough feel good for now. I'm sure you all hate me for gushing as it is before I even mention that I'm writing this post from home and about to crawl back into bed being done for the day >_> But before you go drinkin' the haterade, I'm more than willing to kiss and make it better if I've hit a sore spot :) Current Mood: content (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 19th, 2007
3:04 pm	Organic = Just another marketing ploy "Organic". You hear the word a lot these days as it pertains to food and grocery stores. Personally I had always found it irksome because most of what everyone eats is organic anyway. I dare you to show me a bag of spinach that ISN'T organic. If you can, I'm betting it's a plastic play-skool toy for 3 year olds. But the organic fad seems to be sweeping the nation as people cry evil about trans fats and look for new ways to be healthier. It wouldn't be nearly so frustrating if people were actually trying to be healthy instead of latching on to the latest fad diets or trends portrayed by our media. Forgive me, I digress. I stepped into a couple of organic markets just to take a look-see around at the sort of things they sold, being as how I am a recently diagnosed diabetic and am trying to eat better, why not? Everybody touts the virtues of organic markets so what could it hurt to check it out? I was sorely disappointed. After perusing the aisles and looking at a wide selection of items on the shelves, things such as "Organic Oatmeal" with no refined sugar... (but enough cane juice to send me into diabetic coma) or "Organic Chips"... (don't even get me started) to things like Soy milk substitutes.... (Anything other than unsweetened is a hellz no. You may as well drink whole milk.) The long and the short of it is, unless you are deliberately going out of your way to spend extra money for a slab of beef that was supposedly butchered from a cow that was allowed to wander at pasture instead of bred in an industrial cattle ranch because it somehow makes you feel like a better person knowing that bessy got to know the pleasures of an open field before they cut her throat..... then there is no reason to buy "organic". The food isn't any healthier for you. It's just another tag line to slap on a box label to make a product seem more desirable. And I'm not buying it. If you actually want to eat better, more veggies, lean meats. Moderate your starches and grains. Fad diets to any extreme will kill you if you adhere to them. Healthy, balanced diet. The place most people go wrong is just with portion control. And the food service industry hasn't really helped that much either. Would you like to supersize that? And what the hell are they doing banning trans fat in new york? Never mind the constitutionality questions of wholesale telling people you can't have a donut for breakfast, that's a rant for another time, but how can you be outraged about trans fats when the soft drink industry sells poison by the 20 ounce bottle for 1.49 a pop and kids drink it like water without a second thought and then we wonder why more and more people are becoming obese? What about Gatorade? Sure, great for athletes on the run, burning up energy in competition, but as a recreational drink? Death in a bottle. Okay. I'm done, otherwise I could go on all day. Time to hop in the shower and get ready for Much Ado tonight. Wheee! Current Mood: contemplative (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
2:13 pm	I use my powers for Awesome. My friends have been suspecting this for years of me, but finally I will come out and admit it. Yes I have cosmic powers, and yes I use them for awesome. Up until recently I used them entirely unselfishly, but I finally decided I needed a little me time and man has it worked out great. I hopped on the scale today just for kicks, and I am Officially under 200 pounds for the first time since highschool. Hellz-Yeah. Anyone interested in seeing the new and improved Flex-Master Zen, upgraded but still featuring the softest lips that Patrick has ever kissed (He admits it freely and is almost as disturbed by that as his girlfriend) and the strongest tongue my dentist has ever seen :) (Insert swoon here) I think I'm gonna check out the Rude Mechanicals Much Ado About Nothing opening Friday Night at 8 at the Sellers Theater, LHS in Laurel. I mean it's an all female cast, how can I not appear? I've also managed to beat down the debt demon with my hammer of righteous ass-whoopery™ and I am going to be completely debt free and squared away in 1 year or less (dependent upon my financial situation improving any more than it already has). So that's a hearty F U to our modern financial institutions and their gangland muggings of innocent people disguised as loans and credit cards and whatever else have you with ginormous interest rates hidden in the fine print. If I ever get elected to public office, the Financial Institutions are number one on my list. Brian Moors for Office, He'll Whoop Dat Ass™. And in other news, I may already have to start looking for new clothes! the 34 inch waists I got for christmas are feeling loose. I think I may be closer to a 32! Anyone else needing cosmic assistance, I may be able to spare some of my mystical energies now that I have my own ship righted once more. Just drop me a line and I'll burn a little incense, offer a little wine, say a little prayer to the good lord just to cover all the bases, and we'll see if things don't get better. P.S. I ran spell check and while it disapproved of Mechanicals, it had no problem at all with ginormous. Go Figure! (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
3:17 pm	Buddah has come down from the mountain. To all of my friends out there I must apologize for the lengthy absence from the world. Towards the end of last year, certainly in the latter months, many things changed for me. I have been away in seclusion atop my mountain, seeking solace within myself as one must do in order to maintain their zen. Though my patience for life was certainly put to the test, I'm through the other side. I stopped being a lackey for an old man and got a real job. I discovered I have a deadly disease (Diabetes. I certainly wasn't expecting it. Certainly not at my age.) I broke up with my girlfriend of the time, and worst of all, I had to suffer through an upcoming holiday with my family >_>. Okay so maybe that last part is an exaggeration. But the point is, I disappeared because I had a lot on my plate, and being the zen master that I am, when confronted with overwhelming odds, I do not call for help without, I search myself within. I have emerged from my seclusion 40 pounds lighter than I was, a svelte 200 down from 240, and I feel happier and healthier than I have ever been. I am also more appreciative for all of the many tiny joys that life has to offer. So there, I'm not dead, only forgotten. And that is soon to change. Remember; The rock never moves, but it is not always in the same place. Current Mood: peaceful (18 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 18th, 2006
1:05 pm	I am Death, the Destroyer of Worlds You are Death Change, Transformation, Alteration. People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the best indicators for it. Whatever happens, life will be different. Yes, the Death card can signal a death in the right circumstances (a question about a very sick or old relative, for example), but unlike its dramatic presentation in the movies, the Death card is far more likely to signal transformation, passage, change. Scorpio, the sign of this card, has three forms: scorpion, serpent, eagle. The Death card indicates this transition from lower to higher to highest. This is a card of humility, and it may mean you have been brought low, but only so that you can then go higher than ever before. Death "humbles" all, but it also "exults." Always keep in mind that on this card of darkness there is featured a sunrise as well. You could be ready for a change. What Tarot Card are You? Take the Test to Find Out. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 25th, 2006
3:44 pm	Sweet. The 10 year background check is over. Apparantly I passed. Thursday, 10 AM. FedEx Interview. Current Mood: ecstatic (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
6:29 pm	I'm about to whip somebodies ass 2 points to thirdbase for the song. If the words weren't true, it would be funny. Because it is true, it's downright hilarious. Can I ask a serious question though? WHAT THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE THINKING? ARE THEY THINKING? "Can I get change for this? Second thought lemme give you this back and can I get this instead.. and can I trade you 5 dollar bills?" GO TO THE FUCKING BANK! IT'S 4 DOORS DOWN ON THE RIGHT! THEY'RE OPEN TIL 7 PM! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE! "I need to ship a bottle of wine to..." It's illegal to ship wine unless you have a vendors liscense. We're not an alcohol distributer. Therefore, we don't have a liscense. "What if I go outside and box it up and come back in to ship my 'vase'." What if I layed you out and shoved your 'vase' up your ass and jumped up and down on you til it broke? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE! Dear Lord... I can't wait to be done here. I can't wait.... "Brian, the Register was short 300 dollars tuesday!" Mr. Finley, I didn't WORK on Tuesday. I was at my house. I suggest you find whoever closed that night to talk to, or take your 300 dollars, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! okay. I'm done now. Maybe I should see if Slaversbane needs a guest columnist on his advice column. Current Mood: bitchy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
3:33 pm	Tonight at the College Perk! I know I know, how often has that sentence ended in horrible experiences of the suck knob being cranked all the way up? ESPECIALLY as it pertains to Comedy night. HOWEVER! Tonight I have two friends of mine, very funny guys, coming out to the Perk to throw down DC style and show y'all what funny is all about. Keith "The Comedian" and Sampson. It's gonna be good times, and they serve alcohol. Eh? Eh? Current Mood: chipper (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
6:33 pm	Material Goods are not the meaning of life But lord knows an HDTV makes life so much happier. Praise Him for the HDTV. For truly it is magnificent. And when you combine the HDTV with an XBOX 360, well, I hope some of you out there can forgive me for the lack of social mingling that has befallen me of late. But damn. Just damn. I thought the graphics on the 360 were pretty before. But I didn't even know what I was missing out on. Didn't even know. It was an Unknown unknown! I plan on going home after work and getting nice and cozy with my HDTV/XBOX again tonight. I'm not excluding anyone who wants to bask in the technological glory of my living room either. Anyone in the viscinity feel free to stop by. Just sayin'. Don't expect me to call you. But the door is always open. That is all. Current Mood: satisfied (3 Comments |Comment on this)
5:54 pm	Public Service Announcement Just so everybody knows, today is ADHD Awareness day and... oh hey look, puppies! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
10:51 am	Good Mojo I haven't posted anything particularly insightful into my personal existance lately, though I haven't heard many complaints either. And just when you thought you had finally heard the last of me, here I am again. Ha Ha bitches! You can't escape me forever! Mostly the reason I've been MIA is that I've been focusing on getting my life straightened out. Not an easy accomplishment, but I've finally got 'er turned about, no longer fighting the headwind, and I'm cruising at full sail into my sunset. Hopefully rum and tropical beaches await the dawn. My back isn't the same as it was before I hurt it. Don't know if it ever will be, but it no longer hurts me to perform normal every day activities (And normal for me includes lifting 100 pound packages) Woot! FedEx wants to hire me which means I can tell my frothing cockbeast boss to go die in a fire. Woot! I have a very shiney new HD TV in my living room.. oooh so pretty. WOOT! And I'm starting to get back to writing that book of mine. WOOT! So yes, I've been busy accomplishing things. And everything seems to be falling into place now. Yesterday especially things seemed to just be going my way. Got a new TV, got a call from FedEx, got an invitation to Grill'n'love (which I unfortunately could not attend. I'm sorry :( I miss you guys!) The Universe is bending itself to my will and I need to seize the opportunity while it's here. Magic like this doesn't last forever and happens very infrequently. Hmm... maybe it's time to go ask that hot girl at the tanning salon down the street from my job out >_> Current Mood: ecstatic (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 15th, 2006
10:41 am	Favorite Poems An Original Haiku By Me Life is a Cold Chode Spread Out in All Directions My Balls in Your Mouth And perfectly reversable too ^_^ My Balls in Your Mouth Spread Out in All Directions Life is a Cold Chode Yes.... Yes I think that is my favorite poem. Current Mood: working (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2006
7:00 pm	Shockingly accurate. Hmm. My Personality Neuroticism 3 Extraversion 86 Openness To Experience 92 Agreeableness 60 Conscientiousness 90 Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report MySpace Surveys, MySpace Codes and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
6:56 pm	Things looking up I have a week off starting thursday to rest my back, which is what I need. FedEx is checking on my references, and the UPS guys are offering me an in there too. It's good all around. The only question is do I want to work harder for more money at UPS and wear brown and drive a brown truck. Or Work a little easier for still good money and wear purple and drive a white van. FedEx certainly offers more flexibility in terms of hours if I want to continue pursuing a life outside of work. UPS would make me their slave driving bitch. Decisions decisions. Alls I know is for the next week I'm going to be laying on my back playing video games. I knew that X-Box 360 was a good investment. Current Mood: chipper (4 Comments |Comment on this)